Monday, July 15, 2013

Put Down the Map

Being in your twenties is awkward. Period. You're not a kid, you're expected to be independent, but you don't necessarily feel like an adult. After going to school for thirteen years, then four years of college, two years of grad school, and two years of "actual" experience under your belt people expect you to know many things.

The truth is, I think I know less now than I did during the first twenty-five years of my life.

There used to always be a next. High school ended and then came college. College ended and by the grace of God someone hired me for a year. Then I somehow managed to get into graduate school and was able to put off adulthood for another two years. Although I had no clue what I'd do afterwards I knew I'd have a job. Now that I have a job...what?

After working so hard for so long I have arrived. Yet, I'm not quite sure exactly where I am or what I'm supposed to do next. I have not worked somewhere longer than a year since graduating college and I haven't even lived in the same place (apartment wise not geographically) for more than a year since 2005.

I've now been in Richmond for an entire year. And I'm still here. And it's weird.

While I love my job and am grateful to have wonderful colleagues it's hard to not always think about what's my next move? How long will I stay here? Do I really just keep going to work everyday and then just keep doing that forever?

It feels strange to not have this larger goal like graduation or the end of a contract to be working towards. I'm beginning to think it's because it actually is making me think. How do I really want to spend my time outside of the office? How do I define myself beyond my career?

Although I worked one year after college graduation I've essentially always been a student. The first few months of free evenings after work and reading for pleasure was amazing. Now I feel like I should almost have a second job, like I need something defined and productive to do in my free time. Is that a sign of an entrepreneur? Or just a crazy person?

I can't answer any of these questions, but am continuing to ponder. The more people I've talked to, the more I'm reassured that I'm at least not crazy. If you're also twenty-five (or twenty something) know that you are indeed not lost. We've reached the end of our map to adulthood, but this doesn't mean we're off the map.

Maybe it's just time now to put down the map and be brave enough to wander.

1 comment:

Charlotte said...

This rings SO true for me! I spent so much of my life working towards becoming a CPA, and now I feel myself just looking around thinking, "Now what?"

I think finding goals outside of your career are extremely important. I'm just not sure what mine should be yet.

Thank you for this - loving it!