Thursday, May 8, 2014

To Me, I am Perfect

This post is a long time coming.

Yesterday evening I went to a group exercise class called Fit Fusion (similar to Body Pump) and afterwards went for a mile jog around the track in the gym. I didn't have my headphones and you can't hear the gym's music up on the track so it was one of those rare moments of the day where I am completely unplugged and alone with my thoughts.

Lately I've been trying all kinds of new tricks like the juice diet (overall thoughts coming soon) and getting back in tune with the nutrition plan from Tone It Up (love me some K&K!) as we get closer and closer to the wedding. I've always known that my wedding would be the one thing to "get me in shape". I really out of shape?

I work out at least three times a week and stay pretty active. Usually I'm pretty good about what I eat, though my sweet tooth can catch me sometimes. I never order french fries (always a side salad or veggies), rarely eat fried food, and never drink soda or sugary drinks. I have all of the knowledge I need about eating healthy and working out, but sometimes I completely disregard it.

With a 16 month engagement it finally hit me...if "getting in shape" (whatever that idea is in my head) was that much of a priority, I would have done it already. I can definitely tend to be a procrastinator but when I set my mind to a goal I reach it. I wanted to run a half marathon so I did. I had a setback with my hip stress fracture and worked hard to run a 10k while recovering. I ran my heart out my last semester of grad school and finally shed the 15-20 lbs that was lingering from college. If I want it, I will get it.

What's funny is I actually made this image the background on the home screen of my phone in early January. I wanted a healthy message to be reminded of for 2014, and I have completely disregarded it and instead have been counting calories, trying crash diets, and mad when numbers on the scale don't drop. And we all know I should have tossed that scale out the window months ago.

So I think that I have come to terms with accepting my body, yet still succumb to the societal messages that are out there. Everytime I hear about a "bridal bootcamp" or see the hashtag #sweatingforthewedding I continue to think about how I should be perfecting myself for the big day. What do I have to sweat for? I have a partner who knows what I look like and rather than running away he put a beautiful ring on my finger and asked if I would be his for the rest of time. It's certainly not for him.

Would I love it if I could slip into a size six rather than an eight? Heck yes! But considering I spent 2009-2012 anywhere from size 10 to 14, it's still a sweet little victory every time I pull on a size eight dress. I've also gotten past the point of sizing. I own items size small through extra large and I just buy clothes that fit me, no matter what the label might say.

I've come to terms with the fact that my hips will always be significantly larger than my waist, and know that some gals would kill for an hourglass shape. Healthy is my goal: continuing to be active, maintaining good nutrition, while also letting myself indulge sometimes, is really all that I need to reach what I'm looking for.

To me, I am perfect. And who's approval is more important than my own? I hope you'll take this journey back towards being healthy and away from "perfection".

Monday, May 5, 2014

Monday Motivation

Sometimes it's as easy as that for a motivating Monday morning. Starting the week right really makes a difference and after working out, taking a nice shower, and putting on a outfit I love I got to work and conquered massive piles of paper all over my office. I really should start doing that on Friday afternoons...

As I was cleaning out these papers I realized that it's detrimental to my work flow to get on the computer as soon as I get into my office in the morning. I've now decided on a daily ritual of using the first few minutes each morning to clean up and tidy my office and try to read something that can't be found on a screen before I get to it. 

How do you start your work today to ensure your productivity level stay high?

Friday, May 2, 2014

Juice Cleanse: The End

So there wasn't really a day three of my juice cleanse. When I woke up yesterday my first thought was, I do not want to drink that damn juice. Before I started the cleanse I told myself that if there was a point where I had absolutely no desire to continue, then don't.

First I thought maybe I could turn the juice into a smoothie by blending it with ice. That was a major flop and the texture made me want to vom. The "smoothie" went down the drain and for breakfast I had a Naked juice so it wasn't wildly different, except that it tasted a million times better than the green swamp I had been trying to chug down. I still packed up my juices for the rest of the day and headed to work.

I was fine for a while once I was in my office but then around 10:00am this happened...

That was that, I was officially done with the cleanse. And completely happy about it. I felt a lot better at the end of yesterday, there wasn't a point during the two days I was drinking juice that I felt tired, starving, or lethargic. I didn't necessarily feel super energized but I felt cleaner and lighter which is what I was going for.

After cleansing my body I'm attempting to stay as clean as possible with my eating. For both lunch and dinner I mostly had fruit and veggies with some lean protein and small amounts of dairy. I was afraid of not feeling too well after my first meal but I was perfectly fine. I also felt like I could eat slower and enjoy my food a bit more because for the first time in a while I hadn't spent all morning thinking about what I might eat for lunch.

Overall, it went fairly well for the two days that I lasted. I think that length of time might be the sweet spot for me to do anything like this. Would I do it again? Yes. Would I do it differently? Yes! I would definitely try and find days that I have a busy schedule at work and maybe some commitments in the evening as well which would make it much easier to not even think about the cleanse.

Have you ever tried a cleanse of any kind? How'd it go? Would you do it again?

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Juice Cleanse: Day Two

As you read yesterday, day two started out pretty well since the scale told me I was four pounds down! I'm usually never a numbers person because for me it's so much about how I look, fit in my clothes, etc. but hey I'm a girl, I was excited. Before getting in the shower I did also notice that my stomach seemed a bit flatter, but I might chalk that up to the fact that I didn't eat food for 24 hours...


I started with my first green juice a bit earlier than yesterday, I think because it took me so long to finish them all during the first day that I just wanted to get it started. I sipped some water along with it and finished it before I got to work which I wasn't able to do the first day. The morning followed pretty much the same as yesterday, I took my green tea and mid-morning juice to an hour and a half staff meeting which kept me pretty occupied.


Lunch juice took me almost two hours to finish and just before three I started getting pretty tired. Not sure how much of this can be accredited to the fact that I had the heater on in my office (yes, in April--I'm not happy about it), it's disgustingly gloomy outside, and I had no student appointments which makes for a boring day at work. The lemonade juice went down easy just as the first day and before I knew it we had reached the end of the work day.


I had no interest in drinking the beet/carrot juice again. It was the worst for me on day one and I also didn't have it made because I ran out of carrots. Running to the grocery store in the rain was not ideal so I decided to skip that juice. I had about a 1/4 of a bottle so I drank that and then just went on to the last juice. I savored that one just like the first day, but definitely gulped it down a bit quicker.

Overall, day two was meh. I still wasn't particulary hungry but it wasn't fabulous, just another day down!